Hi, Pfroglady.

It's good to see you have your own thread. This is a great place to be, isn't it.

You know how happy I am for you re your evening last night. I can "feel" that smile all the way across country!! Good for you. Good for you H to be open and honest with his feelings. I know how hard it is for our H's. They're very much alike.

This is for you, too, Shell, but Pfroglady, as far as "closure" with the OW, you're the only one who can figure out what's best for you and what you need. Most people here will tell you to just forget about her -- she's out of the picture and not worth your time or trouble. Well, you've read my story re my confrontation with OW. It was what "I" needed to do. She "went after" my H. He would never haver pursued her. That does not in anyway excuse him or let him off the hook in the least, but I felt I needed a face-to-face with the B to make "myself" feel better. And, quite honestly, I felt GREAT about that confrontation. Still feel like I kicked ass. I told our MC all about it last week. You should've seen his face!! His reply, "You DID?" I think there as a certain amount of admiration there also.

I was never afraid of her trying to get back into my H's/our life. She can do whatever she wants. H is done with her. He has been done now for along time. That is one thing I am absolutely positive of. He now sees her as a temptation from Satan to test his faith, and he failed miserably. He has come to hate her because of all we've learned about her. Even when he told me about the A originally he told me that even if I threw him out then and there, he would never go back "there" again. The very thought of her makes him ill. So, I really didn't care what she tried to do. Now, as before, it is really up to him to make sure she stays out of our life. And, besides, I made it very clear to her that H has told me EVERYTHING, and that if she ever tries to contact him again, H will immediately tell me. I really don't think she wants to take that chance [Big Grin] .

As far as the sex w/o love and having sex with someone else didn't mean he loved me any less thing, my H and I and MC have been all through that. I just can't accept that. I told my H there are plenty of men out there who would never cheat no matter what. It's called integrity and honor. I am really disappointed that he turned out to be the kind of man who uses women for his own sexual gratification, who hurt so many people because of his selfishness. And, yes, even though I have no empathy for the XOW and believes she deserves everything she got (or didn't get) in this whole thing, it really disappoints me to know my H is the kind of man who would take treat another person the way he treated her. I'm not sure I'm making myself clear here, but it's the best I can do right now.

You're a great inspiration to me, Pfroglady, in the art of forgiveness. Our MC said it's a process, a little at a time. I'm still going through that process, but am making progress.

Your H is a very lucky man. I'm so happy for you that he realized that before making matters worse.

Love,

Matilda