Hi - well I believe the D is busted but I am having a REALLY HARD TIME NOW keeping solution oriented and not allowing my insecurities, fears, etc from ruining all my efforts!!!! [Mad]

H sees a lot of changes in me but sometimes it is hard for me to keep "the past" from messing things up. When a sit. even smells like "the past" I can feel the anxiety and fear. Then I REACT and my H gets upset & withdraws some.

He had two ONS and an EA and he says he will do whatever to make me feel secure that he is trust worthy & that he is getting help for his problems. I have seen a lot of changes in him - lots of baby steps and some really BIG steps too BUT this nagging pain is still there!!!!

He works with the OW he had an EA with and he says that he does not have those feeling anymore - he admitted that it was the attention he liked and not her. We have talked about what she gave him that he needed that he was not getting in our M, etc, etc BUT he still remains friends with her - they eat lunch together almost everyday. He says he told her that he was staying to work on our M and she was upset. She is still in a bad R and H doesn't want to abandon her as a friend so she has someone to talk to.

I am trying to act "as if" but this really bugs me. They don't do anything outside lunch & he comes straight home, they do not have contact after hours,etc ------ Should I be so worried?

He is getting frustrated and is doubting my changes. I don't want that but I fear this friendship that they have. He said that he will not stop being her friend but only at work & he has told her that.

I do not want to loose my H over my fears but I don't want to be naive either.

HHHHHHHEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPP me make sense of this!!!

How do I get through this? how do I stay focused?

Thanks [Frown]