I relate to this alot. I saw that I did not know how to listen, not just to my husband. It's the most wonderful thing to be able to really Hear someone. Even if what they are saying is painful just to hear. That's what true intimacy is about, being able to share everything, anything that we want to with those we love.
Something which helped me alot was in the book, fighting for your marriage, by howard markham & co. In it, he describes the speaker-listener techinque. It takes alot of practise, but it works. Look into it. It really changed how I was able to communicate.
Also, I agree, that to simply listen, acknowledge & validate your spouse is one of the most powerful things we can do. It's a gift. We all want to be heard, just as we are. No thoughts, no answer, explainations, justifying, defending, no commmentary. Only listening with our hearts.
