Ok, I see some headway here.

First off - Shutting off the voices takes time (OH WHAT DOESN'T ALREADY!!!! [Mad] ). Anyway, it will probably never fully go away but as the pressure lessens and the practice continues you should find it easier.

Next - I can understand your reasoning for forming your thoughts but can you see where you really can't listen if your busy thinking? It's like listening when you're watching tv. We think we are but we aren't.

Here we're kindof forced to "listen" because we're reading posts. But if they get long or we're in a hury we're likely to scan. But even there we can go back if need be. Can you try to incorporate that concept in to real life?

Do you work really hard to make sure things are just so [Roll Eyes] ? I'm kindof laughing because it's an ernest question but I know it doesn't sound like it. I used to try to be so "perfect" but wasn't getting the proper results. Now I just am and seem to have more success. Of course, too lax isn't good either...

So last point you were hitting was close but I think you may be digging too deep. How can she feel as though you are listening to her? What can you do to convey that to her? What would she then do to show that she sees you doing it?

Sleep and lack thereof matters but in the grand scheme of things, I don't think it's the driving factor. I think it's just learning how to speak enough of each other's language instead of expecting the other to learn all of the others. It's really hard to break the dance and ultimately I do think it takes a LOT of give and not as much take on both sides.

Ooops! I've done it again! Blab blab blab...but I do think you guys are doing really well here. And as I said before - I do see great changes in you since you first came here. Time is on your side (yes it is....)

[ April 15, 2002, 10:06 PM: Message edited by: Phoenix ]