It sounds like you have pushed continually for about 3 weeks now and things are regressing. I thought you had pushed it pretty hard a while back and were then going to back off but most of your posts refer to your XW not wanting to give any more or you telling her you won't wait forever. You know the current plan isn't working so you have to change it. You have been as patient as a saint up until the last couple weeks and I commend you for that.
She won't tell you exactly why she can't commit and maybe even she doesn't know. That is the hand you have been dealt. You seem to be banging your head against the wall right now so stop that. Do something different. If your patience is running short either find more or back off to a comfortable stance. You don't want to ruin the positives you do have. I would lessen the contact with her but not eliminate it. Just take a little breather and do more for yourself without alienating her.
My goal is to have a loving, functional M and my ideal is to have that with my current W. I think that is a pretty healthy place for all of us to be. You have hung in there this long so just don't do anything to destroy all of that progress. She needs space and it sounds like you are to a point that you do too. Good luck.
