Randy, My female viewpoint is that it CAN be a positive when a woman talks to a male (as a friend) about her R. When I do this, I'm trying to gain an understanding of "men" and my sit. from a man other than H.
Recently, I went out with some GFs to a yacht club party. My H was NOT happy about this, he never is. He says men don't want to be my friend. Anyway, it was an interesting evening and at the end of it, I was happy to go home and climb into bed with H. One guy talked to me for quite awhile and told me he was jealous of my H. That made me feel good about my M.
Another guy told me how much he loves his kids, not his W, and that he really wanted to have S-- with another woman. I told him maybe his W feels just as trapped as he does and maybe he should talk to her or do something different to make things better with her if he values his family.
Another one talked about how he hasn't had S-- with his W for 13 years (she was sexually abused.) They need professional help but it doesn't sound like they're willing to admit it.
Hmm, maybe my sit. isn't so bad and my M has more going for it than I give credit. We're soon going away for a long weekend that H planned (no kids!)
So, you know what to do. Back off and retreat and you know XW will step forward. How would she react if you went out and talked to a female friend until the middle of the night? The thing is, she knows she's still got you hooked because you're honest with her and tell her how you feel and that you'll wait, for now. So, stop telling her that. It's a fine line you'll be walking but if you retreat, I'll bet she'll charge forward.
