Hi, Randy:

So, sounds like you tested the waters a bit and it's lukewarm, but not icy!

Time for you to back off, get mysterious, and don't bring up the future around XW. Get yourself busy enough to keep your mind off the OR stuff. Just enjoy the moment and STOP mentioning the future because XW sees that as you pushing her. What she needs from you is time because she's working on figuring herself out. You cannot do that for her.

XW has given you many good signs. She's come a long way. Give her credit for that and support her efforts to stand on her own two feet. Obviously, she values your R or she wouldn't spend all the time with you that she does.

It sounds like maybe she hasn't resolved her issues about the A. She needs to figure that out and make herself strong again so that she feels like a whole, complete person that has something to offer her partner. I think that might be why she said she doesn't want to be intimate just yet. At least she didn't say never!

Channel your energy into being patient and supportive. This has been a long haul for you so keep hanging in there.

Think of XW as a rose - at first, the petals are tightly closed. Then, the petals open up one by one until the whole flower has bloomed right before your eyes. Then, look out, baby. I think that time will come for you!

Always,

Violet [Wink]