Here is some food for thought. Could the hurdle in your relationship be W guilt over EA/PA and wanting to end the M? If so, have you ever addressed it at all? She enjoys spending time with you but maybe she doesn't feel worthy (ready) for a R because of that. I have no clue how to work that into a dinner conversation but maybe explicit forgiveness from you would help her to forgive herself. This is a big reach and major speculation on my part but maybe it could be an answer. My W flat told me if she had an A she did not think she could forgive herself. That was a major reason I snooped and interviened when I thought she might cross the line. Big gamble but I got lucky to stop it.
I guess you could either address it, address it and try to help her through it, or wait her out. I certainly don't understand why she doesn't want a "date" with you. You two practically live together now. My call is she is very near the top but just can't clear the peak. Have fun with the new pool!!
