I asked you if you thought my wife was possibly going thru a MLC herself, and you responed as follows: that that you didn't think she was going thru a MLC, and offered these possible reasons:
Quote:
Revenge. And you have said it all along, she is using the A as some sort of get out of the marriage FREE card. For what it's worth, I am banking on her not being so shallow when the rubber meets the road.
After reading your thread and remarks that MLC is revisiting unresolved past issue and having a "troubled" childhood. THAT is my W exactly!!!
Although her parents were together until she was 15 ro 16, she was already heavily into drugs and looking to boys for affection/affirmation because her parents neglected her emotionally terribly. In her lucid times, she has always said she did not want to raise her children the way she was raised because she did not want to be like her mom. Unfortunately, she IS her mom. My MIL is better equipped to raise children in her 60's, but only marginally. Both my W and MIL expect us to have "Stepford" children. I don't. I want them to behave, and I don't want them to be socially unacceptable, but their behavior is "age appropriate." Both my W and MIL thing I treat our children with "kid gloves." If having both of my children behave for me and totally love on me is treating them with "kid gloves," then I'll take that criticism. This much I do know, both of my children know who dotes on them, who they can talk to and come to for comfort, and it's me. Everyone has always told me that I am the one who "waits on our children." I do that because, if I and my W are present, I get up and take care of them rather than seeing to see if my W will move to do so. I am not saying she is wrong, b/c if I am not there, I believe she will make the move to dote on them.
I have told my W, "You have emotional scars from your childhood and your parents. Do you want to perpetuate that cycle of neglect and emotional abandonment? I told her you are 31 years old and still impacted by the neglect from your parents." Sad thing is, I don't think she is capable of seeing/hearing it because God hasn't touched her eyes and ears to see His will and hear His message. Perhaps He has and she is still to entranced by the enemy. I pray daily for God to bestow his grace upon her, like he has on me and so many others. I know I am not perfect, but He has shown me His way; a better way. Every day, I stive to be perfect. Every day I am satisfied knowing that today, I worked diligently to be a better me than I was yesterday. Every day.
I also pray that my W is not looking for perfection in me, her H. I trust that perfection, as my undying goal; striving for Christ-like perfection, is sufficient for her to allow me inside her heart again as her husband and friend.
I also pray that a motorcycle accident is not what it will take to get her wander out of the winderness. I know that I had a major snowboarding accident and am only here by the grace of God. Even then, my head was so heard it took more traua than my week-long coma to move closer to Jesus and I walk my journey with Him daily b/c I was so far from Him and his grace, but not from his mercy. And so I pray...
Quote: Heavenly Father, thank you so much for all the wonderful blessings in my life; thank You for my perfect children, thank You for my wonderful wife, thank You for my loving family and my health. I also thank You for Your undying grace and everpresent mercy.
Lord, please care for my wife on her journey. She is on a path that she must be on at the moment, and I pray that You will touch her so that she will be able to see Your way and hear Your message. I also pray the You will touch her heart and mind so that she will be open to receiving Your vision and be grounded to be able to process Your path.
Lord Jesus, I also pray that You care for our children and for me while we are all on this journey working our way to glorify You in our reunification. Please assist me in my Bible readings to our beautiful daughter to illuminate Your word fantastically for her 5-year old mind's eye to see and remember the stories vividly. Please Lord, keep our children from any harm during this time of turmoil, ugliness and separation.
I also pray for my own redemption by my repantance. I pray that during this trying, scary, and hurtful time you will touch my W to soften her heart and stance with me to minimize the amount of hurtful and hateful things she says to me and within earshot of our children. I pray that You will help us bring about restoration and reconciliation in our marriage and in our famiy so that we may use ourselves as a great testament to the power and glory of God.
Amen.
I am fully aware that the enemy is gathering his forces to overrun me and my will to stay the course. He would like nothing more than for me to quit and give him the field of victory without even having to unsheath his battlesword. But I tell you all this, I will not quit until God tells me it is time to sheath my own battlesword and come home with Him. Until then, I will strengthen my spirit and my faith. I will sharpen my sword so that it will be ready for the fight of my life. In God and with Jesus, we will be victorious; we will not surrender, no matter how hopeless it may look!!
