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Question: When you became open to His word again and worked thru your MLC and decided to work again on you and your M, did that urge come all at once, or did it occur slowly over time? How long into your recovery did you take, to move towards your H and your M? How long did you take once you made the decision to reconcile, befor your let your H in on your intention? Just wondering.



I had many things that occured over several months that slowly brought me out of the MLC. I would say that I gradually came to realize the many effects of what I had done. Truth be told I am still realizing the effects of the time I was lost. The tentacles of a MLC reach aspects of the MLCers life that they cannot fathom until they are out of the tunnel. So the answer to your question would be that the "urge" came over time.

As for my husband, I did not have near the "dignity" I would have liked when I first revealed to him that I wanted to reconcile. I was literally hurled out of the tunnel during a three day period when my husband was MIA.
D10 could not reach him and that was the straw that broke this camels back. I thought he'd found someone else and was off with "her" somewhere. It was not nearly that dramatic...there was a crisis/situation in his D16's life that had caused a major blowup in his parent's home (she has been raised by them and he now lives there) and he left and stayed 2 days & nights in a motel because the police had become involved and it was just better for him to be gone so he wouldn't kill a 20 year old that was seeing his daughter. He needed to be alone. I know that all this is true but I didn't know where he was at the time and when he called that third night FINALLY, I busted into the worst crying spell I have ever been in in my entire life. It wasn't pretty . I was doing that thing kids do to try to catch their breath when they cry...man it was horrible .

So that's how it happened for us.
I shocked the hell out of him.
Many hours were spent on the phone in the days/nights after that and we went out to Busch Gardens for Hallowscream a couple weeks later. He told me that he had been ready to file and offer me a settlement but said he now wasn't sure...and I have been DBing ever since. I have backslidden so many times it isn't even funny. Truthfully, I am nowhere near being out of the woods yet. But not one thing has been done towards divorce and we spend time together and talk often.

I have never, EVER been involved in anything that required this much patient and diligent work.
But had that remained the case, I never would know the things I know now.
So I don't hate the valley.
I caused myself to end up here.
But it is where I found Him waiting.


Amy