Quote: IMO, telling her about this BB was self serving and foolish.
Perhaps. I didn't think it was self serving then and I still don't. The foolish part is most likely true.
Quote: Do you think she will be thrilled to find out all that you have said about her here? It will likely not be a good moment if she does.
No I don't think she would be thrilled, but everything I have said here is simply recounting actual experiences I had with her. My C told me this, and it really stuck with me; if I am simply telling a story involving my W factually with no embellishments, then I am NOT throwing her under the proverbial bus. I have actually grown to accept that as my truth.
Quote: I could be wrong and I would love to be.
I would love for my entire sitch to resolve lovingly and completely. I do know that I would not accept my R with my W as it was under any circumstances, unless dramatic changes were on the horizon and were being worked toward in a solution-oriented diligent fashion. I want it ALL, but I am ready to celebrate each small victory along the way to my ultimate goal which is still such a loooong way off.
Quote: I don't have time for this now because my ceiling is sitting on my living room floor but I will try to come back later and post more.
May the Carpenter come to be the Foreman of the workmen who come to fix hour roof/ceiling. I await your coming post with baited breath. I welcome your and GH's willingness to tell me, "Whoa, boy. You're getting ahead of yourself." I know I have a tendency to do that because of my impatience (my worst trait).
I honestly DO care if my W were to read my thread, but, as I said, nothing I have posted here is made up. She may not like to read it, but it is all true. And true today is true tomorrow. I have truly changed my view of the world and my own litmus test for my own behavior. For me, right is right, always; for me and others. If I have done something today and it was the right thing to do, I will be able to look myself in the mirror and be satisfied that I did my best with the available information. I know that makes me sound self righteous, but that is how I have decided to live my life going forward. That my not work for everyone, but it is the path I have chosen
