Just checking in with you and actually it seems like things are going pretty good. Do not pursue XW! You're learning a new dance and she gets to lead - you are the follower. I know that's uncomfortable for you because you're used to leading. But, when you try to lead she goes away. Don't initiate the OR talk.
That's great that she cooked at your house and had people over. She enjoys being a family with you and the girls so give her as much of that as you can. Accept that time as a sign of good faith, relax, and enjoy it, but don't push for more. She's really coming around now, so let her!
On a non-verbal level, how is the communication? I know you want to put your arms around her but do you think that's what she wants? When you're in that moment, does she look into your eyes or does she pull away, go into another room, start up or change the conversation? She must be giving off some sort of signal and it's up to you to read it.
