Need Help Staying on my Feet, pt. 3

[Still_Standing]

The Bible says "You will find Me when you seek Me with your whole heart". You have to want Him and ALL His Truth more than you want anything else. Without Him, all is fleeting anyway, as we now know first hand.

I am in my quest for truth in Him and in Him I will also find lasting peace and true happiness.

It is a matter of time and prayer.

Here is my biggest problem. I know that I need to pray to Him for patience to be the man He always intended me to be.

When you sit down to read the Bible, ask the Holy Spirit to help you understand what you read.

This I will do.

Which version of the Bible do you have?

NIV. I didn't pick this verson for any paricular reason, but I do like it and find it a relatively easy read. I may try The Message. If Queen Amy likes it, it must be good.

If you are just beginning, simply praying beforehand will help in your personal reading. The desire to understand will get you half way there. The rest, He will take care of.

I will trust you and I will trust Him.

Do make sure to attend church.

I do most Sundays and I try to take my children even when they are with their mother for the weekend, if she is not attending church herself and will allow me to pick them up.

You are not helpless OR powerless.
Because you are seeking Him.

I know. I am impatient though b/c the enemy whispers in my ear constantly to instill fears and doubts.

When you stand on HIS Word and on the Name of Jesus, all of HIS power is behind you. As you learn and grow, you will soon find that you have that "peace that surpasses all understanding" no matter WHAT is going on around you.

I look forward to progressing in my knowledge and faith to reach this point. I know that I cannot achieve this peace on my own.

He WILL reveal Himself to you.
Start looking for Him in everything you do.
When you are talking to people, listen. He will show up.
I guarantee it.
Those little things will slowly but firmly build your faith and before you know it, there won't be anything that can ever convince you that He is NOT REAL.

More to look forward to in my jouney with the Lord.

Time seems to be a problem for you.
You feel under the gun.
Like if you don't pull it together now, it will be too late if you end up divorced.
It is never too late for God.
My husband's parents were divorced when he was a teenager. His father had a MLC and had a short term affair.
His parents remarried a few years later though and are still married to this day and they are in their 70's.
It is never too late for God and He does not work on our schedule. He knows better than we do.
That's why we trust Him.

I love reading your posts Amy. I do feel under the gun. I feel like time IS running out. I feel like I need to have control over my sitch even though I know I don't have control over anything except what I do. Ugh.

Amy, you are so inspirational to me. I know that I put my W on the path that she is on by betraying her and destroying her trust. I also know that she needs to do what she needs to do in order to come back to me. She also needs my love, understanding and prayers. I am not mad at her. I am extremely sad that I hurt her so badly that she feels the "need" to seek healing and happiness in the manner she is choosing. I am working to love her through her journey and I believe that we are MEANT to be together with God as the focal point of our M and family. Your prayers for your H to be taken care of by God (your last post) really touched me and is a wonderful roadmap for me because I have been lost in my journey.

I prayed tonight for God to take care of HER and to keep her safe and heal her in her journey while we are apart. I am also willing to let her go if that is His will. I have prayed in the past that if His will is not what I wish for that He help me to understand that His will is what is best.

...you and I are on a very similar path, as far as what we did that screwed everything up . But don't you agree that you would have went along blindly, never upsetting the apple cart and never striving for something deeper or more fulfilling?

Absolutely. I was miserable in my life loving my W and being thoroughly ignored by her. Neither of our needs were being met. I didn't want to upset the apple cart. Oooops, that's just what the hell I ended up doing with my A, isn't it? Dumb a$$ that I was. In a strange way though, a lot of good has been coming towards me and happening to me since I stepped on my A landmine. I never thought I had friends. My W would ask me about this and I would always tell her that I have a lot of acquaintances, but friends, NO. I have been so low in dealing with my sitch, and all of these male "acquaintances" it turns out truly care about me and what is happening in my life. I, in fact, do have LOTS of friends. I have stopped minimizing those relationships. I have also kickstarted my walk with God. THAT is the most important change that has come to me and happened inside of me. I have also realized that the BS that led me to an A was all unimportant. I lost focus of my W and her love for me and my love for her. I also lost my focus on my children to keep me doing ONLY what is right.

My wife told me that I have made dramatic changes in the time that we have been apart. I don't know what that will translate to for us as a M couple, but at least she has noticed lots of changes.

So we're on the same road now, you and I.

And so it would seem.

I just happen to be a little bit ahead of you.
Don't worry, I can end up behind you with terrible road rash in the blink of an eye.

We will both reach our goals together, dear.

Just don't hate the valley, HH.
It's where we learn the things that really matter.
PRAISE your way through.

I am learning tons, but is it OK to at least really dislike the valley??

You have two kids that are going to grow up very blessed because Daddy wasn't too proud to slow down and take some instruction from HIS FATHER.

It is b/c of those two angels that my head is on straight and I haven't done anything crazy or destructive during my sitch. I actually have been quite proud of myself and my W is completely perplexed. She truly does not have any idea how together her H is in a crisis or how strong I am. I think she thought she was going to crush me when she started on HER journey. I just keep thinking about last night and her telling me that I must be dating someone because I have been handling her dating OM and going to see him. I will never forget how calmly I told her that I am NOT OK with her dating OM or anyone else for that matter and I am NOT OK with her going to see him. That took some real growth for me to calmly speak my truth to her. I am changing and growing in God.

Hang in there. Finish the race.

I will. I am not letting the enemy have my W. She will continue to be in my prayers daily and I will remain open to reconciliation until He tells me to stop.

Thank you, my Angel. You know, we are BOTH long winded