Thank you so much for your gut level honesty. I have so far to go, don't I? I keep searching, but so often I don't know what I'm searching for or where I'm going. Since I am so lost in my own sitch trying to find "something" or get "anywhere" is a fruitless endeavor.

I feel so helpless and powerless in my own life. I am frozen into doing the same thing even though doing the same thing is a sure recipe for disaster in my life and for my M. Plus, my walk with the Lord is relatively new (in a real sense) and completely giving control of my life to God is entirely foreign. I try, then I snatch it back, over and over even though I have failed in so many ways at running my own life.

Again, I am not clear on how to better my life as a Christian and how to improve my understanding of His word and my faith in His will. As you said, I need to figure out how to do that so that I will be able to truly understand the hurt and devastation I have caused to my W, our M and my family. Thank you for pointing me in the right direction with regard to my praying for my W's healing even though it may make our D a reality. I long for God to hear my knocking and I long to be able to hear His word.

Last edited by Hopeful_Husband; 06/21/06 01:03 AM.

HH
Need Help Staying on my Feet, Original Thread