I'm sorry to be so harsh but it was due. She's walking all over you and it's not right. I'm not going to let her start to make you believe you deserve to be treated with anything less than the SAME respect that you have shown her.
It's a snare. Recognize that she is not the orchestrator, just the vessel. It's about guilt. Your accuser stands before God daily, telling Him what you have done but JESUS stands there saying it is under the Blood. That's a spiritual reality and it's REALLY happening. You can say you know you are forgiven but I know what happens in your head because I have BEEN THERE. DO NOT drag that guilt around. DO NOT give place to the enemy.
NOW, as for getting a life... You have to do that so you can survive this time in the wilderness but also so she can SEE that you WILL live on without her, if she makes you. If she is not the ice princess she usually represents herself to be, she will take notice and THEN there will be a positive change. First and foremost though, you have to do it for you.
Just one more thing: I'm no queen and certainly no angel. I took the same route to this board that you did. I'm just trying to keep your head above water so you don't travel the same hard path to self-forgiveness that I did. It IS all under the Blood and the voices that whisper otherwise late at night, are from THE LIAR.
