Am I Creating a SSM Part V

[heatherg]

Hey Joe, thanks for stopping in, I hope all is going well with you!! I catch one of your posts every now and then and it seems that you are.

So what if you said, "to he!! with all the books, and all the theories, and all the self-help, and all the rest. I'm here. H is here. No one's leaving. So I'm going to make this the very best M that I can, whether H jumps on board tomorrow or in 2030 or never. I'm not leaving my kids and my home.

This is pretty much where I am at. The idea of my M never getting back to a 'normal' state is a lot to swallow so I try not to think about it and just accept that I am here in the present~I cannot look to far into the future...I cannot see the future so it is pointless.

I've arranged for a job interview for H at the company I work for which is something I previously refused to do because work is my refuge....it is my place away from home, away from my problems. I was very reluctant to invite him into this world even though we will not be working in the same building. But I did because it will mean a lot of good things for H and the kids, no more traveling. That will be good and bad for me, but I'm trying to focus on the good. It will also allow us to move forward with buying land and building a house because if we know where we will both be working, we can focus on land in certain areas. We've actually already found the piece of land we want, but it's not on the market yet. If all goes the way we hope, we could have a contract on it, contingent on perc test, very soon.

I am trying to accept the present circumstances, come what may. And yes, the R books have definitely been taken off my list of what to read!

When you get a chance, you might consider peeking in on Infidelity. You may find someone there you recognize.

Hey Burgbud, I checked out the infidelity forum briefly, but didn't see anyone I recognized. I'll check again a bit later.