It sounds to me like you are on the verge of an 'awakening.' I am not a big fan of religion, AT ALL, as a matter of fact, I darn near reject it outright... though I have studied many.
I'm a big believer in God, though (my version of Her, I guess)... and spiritualism. Anyway... take a trip through this web site sometime... I think it might be up your alley.
As for the other stuff... good for you for realizing that the "time" it takes to recover and grow is critical. We are in such an instant world anymore that if, god forbid, it takes you years, instead of months, you are somehow less of a human.
And though I appreciate Cobra's glowing words of praise... I will tell you... I have been on MY road quite some time. I spent 12 years in counseling during my 16 year marriage, had kids, did the job thing, did serious spiritual exploration myself (still do), went through a couple of serious car accidents, got divorced... in all this I hope you see that my road was not quick, nor was it painless. :-)
The great thing about all of it is, you WILL get it... in your own time, in your own way, as long as you keep looking. And that doesn't mean you can't rest along the way... you do need breaks, like you said.
But you are one smart cookie. Try to stay out of self-pity mode (we call that sitting in the Center of the Universe Chair... quite a comfy chair, that one)... try not to take life and your M so seriously that you stop laughing, and continue to follow that gut instinct you have... that intuition you feel...
