Am I Creating a SSM Part V

[heatherg]

so what kinds of things would give you hope? you were doing them, Im not going to tell them to you. Ill let you remember, and tell us.

I'm confused. What kinds of things would give *me* hope? Things that I can do myself that would give me hope? Nothing. Any hope I find will be bourne out of H's actions. It could be anything.....even as small as a sincere acknowledgement that he hasn't been perfect and that he wants to try. Anything coming from him indicating that he gives a damn, would give me hope.

I think I've decided to give it one more year. Inside, I feel like I'm done. But one of the things I haven't tried is just living. No R talks, no pressure, no talking about my expectations, etc. This should be relatively easy to do just because I do feel like I'm done. I'm going to get my financial status ready to move out and do some serious furniture shopping.
Most of the progress we've made has been in the last year. I mean, this time last year, there was a court date scheduled headed toward D (almost this time last year, actually the court date was June 10). So, maybe if I give it another year, we will be in a much better place this time next year. If not, well...
In the meantime, I don't see myself doing much that would make me very relevant to this BB anymore, so I don't know how much I will be posting. I'm not ruling anything out at this point.....just trying to go with the flow for a little while and see where it goes.