Quote: No I am not. I am still ruled by fear. I still gravitate toward placating and supplicating because I still fear hurting her more than anything else. I still make absolutely horrible choices about what I should do daily.
I think there is a valid difference between caution and fear. Where before I saw you moving in fear, now I see you moving with caution. Big Dif. No one likes to hurt another. I think you are seeing your wife struggle and you have empathy for her, but, to give you much credit, you are also turning some much needed empathy onto yourself, understanding that you cannot sacrifice your own needs and happiness... for that does no one, most especially your M, any good. You've learned that the hard way, hm?
Quote: The responsiblity for making my M work rests squarely on my shoulders and I am down on one knee under the weight that I should have the strength to handle but don't.
Uh... no it doesn't. Your wife gets to carry half the load.
