Quote: "he never unchose you, like you did him and the family with the A."
I don't agree with this at all. If you read the history, he 'unchose' her over and over and over again. He just didn't leave her. His verbal abuse ALONE, prior to her A, to me makes him the worst kind of offender.
And again, both you and her H seem to completely disregard that up until the second Heather decided to have the A, he was 50% responsible for getting the marriage to a state where she would even CONSIDER an affair.
Marriage is not a test of "let's just pile as much of my sh!t and personal insecurity onto my partner as I possibly can... let's see how much of it they are willing to carry ... after all, s/he said they love me... now let's see him/her prove it."
Heather.
No one here is going to tell you to get out. All the "gosh, I just do see how you can live like that," quotes are not going to make your decision to either stay or go any easier.
Make up your mind, set your course and follow it. THEN ask for advice. Hanging out in limbo, neither in nor out of your marriage, is the worst kind of torture.
