I’ve been meaning to reply, but can’t add much more to what Blackfoot has said. One thing I did have in mind to run past you was the anger issue that keeps haunting you. Say for the sake of argument you move out, but 6 months from now you find you are still angry, and since your H is not around, you can’t blame him for it. What will you do now? Will you face the fact that your anger is because of you, not because of him, and if you want to get into the FOO thing, you may even be able to say your anger is from something in your childhood. So maybe you go see a counselor and work through this. Why wait to do this later? Why not do it now?
Maybe your anger is completely due to your H and has nothing to do with your FOO. Then putting off the counseling till later may be better since moving out should cure you of your anger. But if that isn’t likely, why jeopardize the marriage when there is something you can do now, even though it may seem like a minor thing.
Your reasons for not printing out that article Lil posted sounded deterministic, self-defeating and basically hoping for a death wish. If he reads the article and throws it in the trash, so what? It’s worth a try. Everything is worth a try, not just for sake of the marriage, but for you personally. You have been posting on this board for a long time, but now that I think about it, I’m not really sure what you two have done to move forward since you stopped seeing the MC. I am thinking that you two are both avoiding making the hard choices, preferring to complain about the other not moving forward and how stuck you are. This will take care of it self one way or another. Either you or he will pull yourself up and make the decision to grow or one of you will get so sick of the situation that you will bolt. I’d go for the first choice.
