Of course it's okay to read! That's what we're all here for: each other!
My advice to piecers is LET GO OF THE PAST. Don't hold on to resentment. As much as you can, forgive and forget and move on.
But don't feel you have to swallow present conflicts--it's important to learn how to put issues on the table in way that does not attack the other person and in a way that has both partner's interests at heart. (Swallowed resentment may be one reason you got into trouble in the first place.) You will probably have to read books or see a counselor to learn how to do this.
ACT AS-IF. That is, when your partner is in a bad mood or makes an offhand remark that you find hurtful, sometimes it helps to give the benefit of the doubt and think to yourself, "I'm sure that was not meant to hurt me and I shouldn't take it personally." Act as-if things are going well, and you can often create a chain reaction!
HAVE FUN TOGETHER. Sometimes it's best to stop working on problems and just pretend they don't exist. (Minor ones, I mean. Things like abuse should NEVER be treated lightly.) Having fun puts you both in your best light, helps you recall what you love about each other, and creates positive energy.
By all means, keep reading and talking to others and educating yourself. If having a good marriage simply came naturally, none of us would be on this board!
