Sometimes it really seems like our partners can read our minds doesn't it. As soon as you couldn't give a flying f&&k anymore H notices and starts to act more interested in you. You can't change him, you don't want to change yourself - in other words you don't want to change yourself into a queen biatch who couldn't care less.

I wish Cobra would post on your thread he can usually figure these things out. But mho would be that your H has a fear of intimacy. And it is this fear which keeps him distant from you and makes him interested when you seem less "available". You don't fear intimacy - you want it. So what to do? Really I wish I knew.

I'm like you LL I have my love languages in pretty much the same order as you do and my H has his in pretty much the same order as your H. There is nothing he craves more than peace and quiet, solitude. There is nothing I crave more than cosy fireside chats - followed by raunchy sex I have learnt to leave him be otherwise he gets crabby with me. Then when he has had his fill of solitude (after about 2 weeks to a month) he will start to cosy up to me, have a little chat (usually about his stuff ) and start making his moves on me. Whoopee! Then we have another few weeks of drought. Sorry but this just isn't enough. I've tried everything I can think of but at the end of the day I guess I just have to accept that that's him. When I leave it this way for a while things go more smoothly between us if I try to get more he just gets grouchy, irritable and a PITA to live with. It's a part-time M as far as I'm concerned.

take care

Fran

if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs
Erica Jong