Lily,

I know. I keep reminding myself over and over that he brought this all out in the open on his on accord; that he has answered all my questions; has gone to MC for the last 7.5 months even though he hates it; basically done everything I've asked of him and more. What more do I want -- how about amnesia for a start [Frown] .

Thank you so much for being there for me. You have a way of putting things into perspective. I can feel through your words how you long to be loved by your H. I try to put myself in your place, feel what you feel. How lonely it must be to love a person, live with that person, have a life with that person, and have that person say they do not love you. So if I sound whiney and unappreciative for what I have, please forgive me. I know I need to work harder on living in the moment. The past is the past, dead, gone -- just haven't made the funeral arrangements yet.

This is what I come here for.

Matilda