I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply to your post. The phone company has been working on or lines for the last two days, which meant the DSL was down.
I want you to know that everything you're feeling right now I've felt at times myself. If you've read my entire thread you'll see that I've questioned my love for my H. I think that is only natural considering the pain he's caused me. But I want you to ask yourself, do you think you'd be feeling the pain you're feeling if you didn't love your W? It may not be the same love as when you were first married, but that's because it's a more mature love. And the thing is, if there was love before, I really believe there can be love again. But it does take work and it does take time.
I must say I'm right there with you in the anger department. I can really get myself worked up sometimes. I have an excuse, though, they're called hormones . But seriously, I do think when those nasty hormones kick in my anger can get out of control and everything seems really bleak. Then they go away and things seem more manageable. I know this is not a help to you -- no hormones to deal with. But anger and resentment are two emotions that will surely be the death of both of our M's if we don't get them under control.
You say your W is completely different than she was 6 years ago? Then maybe you should try thinking that your marriage is just starting now and the events of 6 years ago happened with an old girlfriend who is out of your life now. I know -- kinda hard to do. But really what I'm getting at is any little trick or game you can play with your mind like that might help. From the letter you posted that your W wrote you she sounds sincerely regrettful of the pain she's caused you -- and herself. Don't forget, she has to live with what she's done, too. She probably has a pretty slimy image of herself doing the things she did with the OM and almost destroying her marriage. She has her own demons to deal with.
Well, shoot. H wants to go for a ride on the hog. I'll be back.
![[Eek!]](images/icons/shocked.gif){kind=icon}
. But seriously, I do think when those nasty hormones kick in my anger can get out of control and everything seems really bleak. Then they go away and things seem more manageable. I know this is not a help to you -- no hormones to deal with. But anger and resentment are two emotions that will surely be the death of both of our M's if we don't get them under control.
