MONTANA, I would like to comment on your post. Yes,I forgave my H for having an A. Why? The unconditional love you mentioned! When I took my wedding vows I promised to love him for better or worse,through the good times and the bad times. An A is deffinately the worst!! I had always told him that an A was something that I could never forgive or live with. But I discovered for myself and showed him just how deep my love for him went. I knew in my heart that the A didn't change the fact that I loved this man and I loved him enough to forgive and work out what had gone wrong with us. I was fortunate in that he never wanted to leave me for this OW. He told me that he didn't love her and really had no feelings for her. If he had,I know he is the kind of man who would have left me. He had reached a point where he was very unhappy,stressed out and felt that I no longer cared about him or what he did. He says that is no excuse for what he did and there is never an excuse for an A. He had just reached the point where he had no feelings for himself much less anyone or anything else. We have discussed what when wrong with us and neither of us can pin point when or why things got as bad as they did. We had always felt we had something special and we had always had a lot of love for each other. Somehow,someway we got "lost". We stopped communicating and we began drifing apart and felt helpless as to how to stop what was happening. After the A ended we had several talks and we both made immediate changes in the way we treated each other and once again started doing the little things for each other that we used to do. We both knew that the love was still there beneath the unhappiness and that is why we were able to find our way back to each other. I must say that I think you must be a special man for turning away from the temptations that faced you when you went out drinking with your buddies!! There are so many men out there who would have taken advantage of the situation and told himself that it was OK to give in because he had been hurt before by his spouse. You were strong and you resisted temptation and you should be proud of yourself!! Your W is a lucky woman and I hope she realizes what she has in you. I want to tell you that I have you in my thoughts and prayers and I wish the best for you!!
pfroglady