Of course he was weak in one respect. Nothing's black and white. We all have our strengths and weaknesses.
All I know is that what my W sees as weakness (my dependence on her), I see as strength. I truly believe it takes strength to leave yourself vulnerable to another person.
Until I met my W, I sucked in all of my feelings. I had to be "strong" for my brother and sister after my mother's death. I couldn't show them how much I was hurting. Yeah, that took a certain kind of strength.
But when I met W, I wanted to be intimate with her. That meant exposing myself with the possibility that she would reject my weakness. I made myself vulnerable to her. She accepted that, and I loved her all the more.
Love entails vulnerability, and I say it again, you have to have a certain amount of strength and of course confidence in another person to be able to bare your soul to them.
It may seem like I'm bearing my soul to this BB, but it's not the same. You, or anyone else could tear right into me, but it doesn't matter. We've never even met. If you thought I was the biggest a**hole on earth, it wouldn't matter.
What my W thinks matters.
What you think of your H matters to him.
The fact that you're expressing your admiration of how he's handling all of this is very important to him.
It's said that self-esteem comes from within. Nice sentiment, but we're social creatures, and especially when we're in love, we need the love to be requited.
Sounds to me like you've turned the corner too, Matilda. And your H is right behind you.
