Quote: Sometimes it is so easy to say that I need to GAL, but when I subject myself to the truth and pain it is sooo hard to do what I know needs to be done. I need to control me, and forget about trying to control her. Easier said than done, but I'm trying.
I know it's hard. I really do. It's still very hard for me almost 7 months in. The bottom line is that YES, there are some things you COULD do to control the situation a bit, if your goal is soley to end the affair. You COULD expose the affair to everyone in your lives, recruit the help of family, friends, clergy, etc, to put pressure on her to stop the cheating, but then what? Ok, so she stops cheating but for too many of us, that would be the end, at least as far as we're concerned. "Honey, I'm glad you've come to your senses, not let's rejoin our regularly scheduled program already in progress..." They jump right back into the "old" marriage without considering much else that was wrong with it other than that evil affair. That ending is usually filled with resentment from BOTH parties as well and a limited outlook towards the future because really, none of the underlying issues were ever addressed.
It's REALLY hard to let go of the "What she is doing is evil and I need to make her stop so she can get back to the good that is our marriage" thoughts and move yourself more towards the more open, honest thinking that "I really need to look at my marriage and see what I didn't like, what I could have done better, and how I can be a better man for everyone's sake, recognized or not."
