You are right I think. I suppose I, and probably Mama have spent so much time in "no R talk" mode that it's often the last thing we thing about these days. Gee, why not just ask.
I know in my sitch, I don't really have to ask because I have enough that my W told me over the years, and in recent R talks that I could do to be "better" that I can wait to get more info. I think for my W, part of me being a good lover, and I don't really like this but...is for me to know what to do and when to do it. Since we have done NOTHING for the past 8 months, it's really hard to figure our when and what to do. I am getting to the point where I think I do just need to come right out and be direct. My fear of rejection is strong though and it's only VERY recently that I learned how to overcome it enough to make slightly more than subtle advances towards her. I think now I just need to stop all the beating around the bush and just come out and ask what she's looking for. If she says she doesn't know, or won't tell me, fine. On the other hand, if she does tell me, then I am much better off than I was before.
That all said, I think one of my problems is that I am not assertive enough in this area and that won't be addressed by having a conversation, especially one that comes BEFORE I have taken direct and obvious ACTION to try to initiate intimacy. Until I do that, and I am satisfied that I did all I could, I may not initiate the convo...then again, I may do it tonight. It's a game time decision for me, lol.
