Thanks for the words on the drinking thing. I don't really have much more to say on that. It is a situation I am going to continue to monitor, but for now, things are looking better than in the past for sure.
In terms of the feeling sexy part, yes, I do a lot of the little things, kissing her hand for no reason, complimenting her, hugs from behind with a kiss on the neck, etc. I also make sure it's not predictable, in terms of what I do or when I do it. I have been doing this for some time now, but admittedly, YEARS went by without so much as a hint of this from me so maybe I have some more time to put in before she believes I am really expressing confident affection rather than doing these things to win her favor. I assure you (and her) that it's the former.
It is getting frustrating to be doing all these things and having her not respond at all, but again, after so long, it must feel contrived to her to say the least. I am going to be patient because these things I do are about expressing my feelings for her, and if they were not for her, then I would be expressing them for whatever other woman I was with. I now understand the importance of this. For me, overcoming a terrible lack of self-confidence was the key, and really continues to be so. I struggle with that daily.
On a side note, but relating to that struggle, I got a rare confirmation that one of my changes, 180's if you will, has been noticed and taken to heart by W. I was walking around doing some household stuff and made some comment. I don't remember what it was but somehow W took it as self-depricating in some way and said "Oh great, the self-depricating humor is back" and sighed. I immediatly said "Whatever you thought I said or meant, you're wrong, I love myself, for better or worse and grinned from ear to ear." I meant that too.
It's obvious that my low self-esteem and subsequent self-deprecation wore on her after, oh, say 10 years. I can't imagine why, lol. I guess she noticed that I cut that out of my daily life.
