Quote: I understand it in a clinical sense, but not on the level of personal experience. I am not discounting alanon's potential benefits to me but right now it's not really a route I want to take...not just yet.
I understand! It's a big step... I recommend highly because a good group will help you--and I mean REALLY help--with further detachment. To learn not to assign labels as "good" or "bad" to others behaviors. And it really helps me evaluate how I judge others according to the values I held near and dear to my heart. I've just spent the next 2 decades working on shedding some of them that were no longer useful. So proceed at your own pace.
Quote: That is silly at best, downright pathetic at worst. I KNOW I want her to be making this change for her and as such, she does not need to talk to me about it, not attribute it to my "pressure". I don't need her to include me in this unless she wants my help in some way.
Excellent! You've nailed it, GH. I'm so happy to read this...
Quote: P.S. Now, can't we get back to wondering why I haven't had $ex in 8 months, lol?
I hope you're joking... but, in case you aren't, it's fairly obvious to me. Hey, here's where we also have a similarity, because at the time when Mr. W. moved out, it had been 6 months for us. Only I'm a girl, and I could see the emotional quotient here.
Your W is very disconnected from herself, GH. If she's that disconnected with her own soul, she's even more disconnected in her R with you. Let's turn this into a few math equations:
Disconnect in R with self=Disconnect in R with GH
Disconnect in R with self=Distorted self perception
Disconnect in R with GH=Lack of emotional connection
Lack of emotional connection and deplorable self perception=no sex
Need any more theorems solved?
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
So proceed at your own pace.
Betsey 
