This is all about W today. I almost posted this yesterday and wanted to give it another day to see what happened. What I was observing is W's behavior since Thursday when she finished up her DUI classes. She didn't really talk much about what she did in class except to say that she learned a bit about herself like that she was an "A" type personality and she didn't really ever consider herself one.
The big change though is in her drinking. In the past couple weeks, and really, since I have known her, W has a glass or two, or three of wine every night, without fail. She pretty much never gets to the point of intoxication or noticeable impairment but I suspect that she is self-medicating on some level. Of course, if you know the history of my sitch (I think I also discussed it recently) her drinking has been a HUGE issue between us all of our marriage since I don't drink at all and don't understand much about it.
Well, since Thursday, W has dramatically cut down on her drinking at night, instead making herself some tea before bed, something she hasn't done since the VERY early days of our marriage. This she has done on her own and without fanfare of any sort. She has not mentioned anything to me, nor have I commented on it. It's been 3 days now (Friday & Saturday we were at SIL's and they don't drink so she couldn't then) and I am getting curious. I believe that they may have covered alcoholism in the DUI classes (well, I'm sure they did) and maybe, just maybe, W finally heard it from someone else that she may have a problem, or at least that she should cut down somewhat. Before then, I would have been the only one able to tell her that because she only really drinks at home, doesn't go out that much so friends wouldn't know much at all, and her family doesn't drink so...
Whatever the reason, she has indeed cut down, and for the first time, completely on her own. The only other times I have ever seen her do something like this is after I made a big deal out of it and then she would skip a night or two to prove the point (a suspect one but...) that she was NOT an alcoholic because she could give it up whenever she wanted...and then start back up a couple days later.
I have not really suspected that she is an alcoholic per-se, but she does have SOME of the triats, especially the denial and, well, the lots-o-drinking part. When you take that "are you an alcoholic" test, she comes out borderline. I have never really know if she WAS an alcoholic or if I was just over-reacting because of my lack of drinking. Anyway, that is an OLD discussion, one that I think we beat to death a long time ago and for now, I don't want to revisit much.
My question now is that I am wondering if I should say something. Part of me thinks that I should tell her that I noticed and that I am proud of her, but the other part (usually the RIGHT part) thinks that it would come off as one of two things, me being her father and being proud of her, or me paying too much attention to it.
What do you think? Do I say something, or just let her be? I am leaning towards maybe commenting on it very briefly and then moving on.
