Then learn to communicate with her in these boundaries? Until I became more patient, I wouldn't have waited either. I'd have called those shots to my detriment.
Only you have more tools than my XH did/does. Keep to statements that discuss how you feel... not about what she is doing or not doing. Let her own her stuff and share with you. The point in doing this exercise is for you to feel as though you have some say in alerting her how you're feeling.
Work with her, friend. And yes, Mars/Venus is a fabulous book. Memorize it. But try to work with what you have and know... then you can work on changing the bigger picture.
My .02 worth!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey 
