You know what, I AM afraid. I am afraid that I will communicate all the garbage in my head before I communicate the love and joy. That's what I am afraid of. Sure, I NEED to express it ALL, but I have expressed SO much pain and anger over the past several months that it's high time I moved on to express some love and vision for the future. I want to let W know that I am full of life now, not regret, hate or anger. I want her to FEEL my love from across the room. I think in order to do that, I need to do as you both have said today, and OT has said 1000 times, I need to be 100% direct and honest with W on ALL fronts.
I feel SO empowered by all this and want SO much to implement it in my life starting today, for better or worse, because I believe that in the end, it can only lead to better.
