i think your C is trying to help you with the injured child within youthat was hurt and couldn't protect herself and whose voice was never heard. that inner child that you brought into your marriage. the adult matilda is now in that child's shadow as that child lashes out at being hurt again and you, the adult matilda, are her voice. i'll share w you what our c counseled me. she said to nurture that hurt child, soothe her, help her heal, acknowledge her pain and anger,quiet her fears, let her know she is loved. let her out and let her PLAY. there was no mention of letting her act out or be vindictive cause that doesn't really heal. as the adult, you know your H isn't going to betray you again. he has apologised over and over. make that inner child of yours hear him; make the adult matilda reasure the inner child that she won't be hurt again. matilda, it's easy for a little child to forgive. you say you're sorry and that you won't do it again. then the hurt child SAYS i forgive you. it's only when the child is older that s/he learns to channel hurt into anger.
you the adult have got to separate the hurt from your youth out from the hurt from your H. you are making him pay for what someone else did to you.
