Matilda, I almost cried when I read your latest posts!! I sure hated to hear you are going through a bad spell!! It really hurt to hear you say you wonder sometimes if you really love your H!! Maybe you do need some time alone away somewhere to really think things over without any distractions. Did you talk to your C about that? If so what did C suggest? It is really hard for me to give you any advice even though our situations are somewhat similar. You have been through so much more than I have and it is understandable that you are having a harder time getting over the A. All I can tell you is that you have to be CERTAIN that you love your H and you have to feel in your heart that he loves you or things won't work. You have to do what is best for you. It takes 2 people fully committed to making the marriage work or it won't work. One person cannot keep a marriage together. I can sit here all day and tell you time makes everything better because it did for me but every person is different and sometimes it takes more time for some than it does for others. I just want you to think long and hard,look deep inside yourself before you make any decisions. Then when you have the answers to these questions "Do I really love my H?" "Do I want to stay with him and make this marriage work?" "Am I better off with him or without him in my life?" "Can I eventually totally forgive him for the A and move forward and stop looking back?" then you do what is the best thing for YOU! Remember that there a lot of people out here that care about you,want to see you happy and will always be here for you!! Stay strong and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!! Pfroglady
