Thanks for your encouragement. Two whole days now without obsessing . Fleeting thoughts, but no obsessing.
We've been doing the massages for a while now. Once a week, taking turns. Usually turns into a pretty hot time .
The night of that same day I went out to have lunch with H we were sitting together watching t.v. Out of the blue H said, "Do you know how it makes me feel after we have a "session" like last night?" (I had told him he made me sick, disgusted me, etc. - yeah, I know Shut up, Matilda).
What I wanted to say in reply, "How you feel? Can you imagine how I feel knowing how you've betrayed me. Can you imagine how I feel knowing the things you've down with OW? "
What I actually said was, "No, tell me."
He proceeded to tell me that it "set him back" for weeks -- from his healing, I guess. That it brought up all the humilation and shame again, and that he wonders how we'll ever get passed it.
I didn't say anything. Just listened. Good girl, Matilda!
The next day he sent me an E-mail saying how much he longs for the peace and joy we once shared; how he hopes we can get there again. He said he wants our home to be a "safe haven" for both of us from the outside world where we will both feel loved, accepted, and desired. It was really beautiful. It's those kinds of things that keep me from obsessing.
Oh, well. Just putting down my thoughts today. Hope you have a great weekend. Talk to you soon.
![[Big Grin]](images/icons/grin.gif){kind=icon}
. Fleeting thoughts, but no obsessing. 
