re Morganie100 In addition to drive we are also opposite in ability to talk about sex. I clam up. I think he does too but he's so busy pointing fingers at me he can't see that.
Probably not an uncommon event.

We've talked about once a week but he knows I don't really desire it.
I know my W, BB does not desire sex very often. It kind of takes away from the experience when we do have sex. I would imagine your H has similar feelings.

I tried to separate desire from want but after several months of this now I don't even want.....It's so empty to have sex without desire.
I understand from your perspective. I also understand your H's anger, resentments you feel make it difficult for you to be sexual with your H.

Other than no desire, are there other mechanical, smell, roughness, no foreplay problems. Any pain or dryness?

I don't want to influence your decisions about being sexual with your H but someone said to me, " Lou, I notice you don't seem to do much but work." "What do you get out of life?" I said I look forward to having sex/ML with my W at least a couple times a week." Truly, that activity was my main joyous activity.

Just showing you how some guys think about sex and ML. I can have a bad day and the only thing that gets my mind off of what went wrong is the possibility of having sex.

I know it is different for some/most women, so I am not trying to get to change your POV, just letting you know how some guys think.

So you are not interested in intercourse? How about a hand job for your H? Just suggesting alternatives Morgaine100 as you said he almost had an affair. I don't think anyone signed up for marriage to be celibate without some strong medical limitation in the M.

Marriage is a social contract. Lack of a sexual outlet is a biological problem and sometimes a social contract is not strong enough to suppress the natural biological processes of a person.

The biology gets expressed somewhere else, porn , masturbation, looking at others, excessive hobbies or work activities, treating other people poorly, etc. Not all people do these things to the same degree, some poor behaviors are barely noticeable, but I think the not getting any comes out someplace, some how.

So maybe you and your H are trading no sex for something else that you both don't want. So the which is worse contest comes into play. Guess what! You might not like either choice but taking none is not an option, you always get one and sometimes more choices you don't like or want.

I know there is more to your situation than sexual differences. How about listing those differences. I am sure the ladies will jump in here and offer more womanly advice.

Keep posting.

Lou