You know, maybe I'm just being stubborn here (not unheard of for me), but this was not just a "mistake" that can be so easily forgiven and gotten over. This was not a one-night stand. This was a conscious decision made many times over to violate my trust and betray my love. And the thing that is probably making it so hard is that just weeks before he decided to go ahead with the PA we had started a fantastic reconnection (I thought) in our marriage. We stayed up talking and making love until 3 o'clock in the morning almost every night for weeks. We were making love2-3 times a day. We were having fun, acting like teenagers, falling in love all over again. And that is what he told me, that he had fallen in love with me all over again and that I had saved his life. How do you go from that to the bed of another woman? How do you lie and deceive the person you supposedly love like that? How do you have the desire or even the stamina to want to be with another woman?
And then if I can get over all that, how do I get over the fact that this was not the first time?
This isn't looking good, is it? I need to go. I'm doing no one any good here right now, including myself. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
