LILY - My H is also the "it's over let's put it behind us" kind of guy! He did talk to me a lot when I needed to. We had another talk a few months ago and he said that he doesn't understand how you can put something behind you if you keep bringing it up. I tried to explain to him that talking about it helps. He just doesn't see it that way. So when I feel the need to talk I come here. It does help! I think honestly that I have all the answers I'm going to ever get from him and to be honest I really know all I need to know. It has been a year and a month since I discovered the A and as I tell Matilda all the time - it has gotten better and easier to live with as time has gone by. I realized that I am a stronger person than I ever thought I was and my faith has seen me through everything. I am very fortunate that my H never stopped loving me and we were able to fix what had gone wrong in our marriage. I wish that everyone could have the happy ending I have had. I have lost 80 pounds,let my hair grow,quit bitting my nails and have gained a LOT of self confidence. I am a WINNER and the XOW is a LOSER and she has to live with what she did and has to live the stigma of being the OW. She is less than nothing to me and I am confident that she was never a real threat and is not a threat now. My H has to live with what he did and has to forgive himself. Don't know that he has but I do know that he is thankful that I forgave him and he is happy that he didn't lose me. He is trying so hard to make me never regret forgiving him. I may never really understand why he did what he did but I chose to forgive and I am healing now and must continue to heal until the A is just an unhappy memory.
