Matilda..I too think you will make it. You have a lot going for you. I think that you really needed to do what you did and it has made you feel better. Maybe more people should do what you did. I have honestly thought about writing a long letter to the XOW or calling her but it has been so long now and the feelings I used to have about confronting her are fading away. I know my H would tell me to do what I feel I have to do but now I just don't feel the need as much as I did. Oh,if we go back to where she lives and hangs out and I see her I have no doubt that I would confront her. I still have times when I get angry at her and even this morning I had a moment when I felt anger toward my H. He was at work and I just worked through it. I probably wouldn't have said anything to him had he been home. Today had just been a kind of "down day". It has been a long time since I have felt like I have today. Things really are getting so much better and I believe that just from the things you say that by the time you hit the year mark things will be so much better for you. Have you ever felt like you and your H were "just meant to be"? I have always felt like that. From the time we first met I somehow knew that he was "it" for me. I have always felt that we had something special. For awhile though we both "forgot" what we had and almost lost it. But the love we felt was always there and now we are back on track. I honestly feel that because of that love and because we were "meant to be" is why I could forgive what he did and we could work out the problem. As for the XOW. I think she was "desperate" for a man and I think she was "desperate" for someone to love and she didn't care that the man was married and she believed all the lies he told her. She was hurt but in my opinion she asked for it. When a woman hears the words "I'm married" she shouldn't even wait for the "but" that is to follow -she should run the other way. I guess there are just a lot of women out there who are selfish and just don't care. I did tell her in the email I sent her that I hoped she learned a lesson from this. Maybe next time she picks up a man in a night club he'll be single. I told her that the next married man she screws around with might not have a wife as nice as I was [Big Grin] !! There is still part of me that wants her to see us together and see the love we share and feel real bad and feel sad too but as time goes by that feeling seems to be going away. Anyway,I think you did great and I think you did the right thing. If I was that XOW I would be feeling like the world's biggest SLUT after your visit and I would try hard to find a single man the next time I was "lonely" [Razz] Pfroglady