You are a carbon copy of me! I stay for the same reasons, to honor my vow and marriage is to honor God. That's exactly why I stay!!! This is a second M for both of us. I was a WAS from my first H, total marital neglect on the first, so I left. I had to deal with a lot of guilt and shame that goes with being a WAS and I was determined not to make that mistake again. I had all the warning signs before I married my current H, but I didn't listen so I guess I got what I deserve. Now I'm convinced that I have to make the best of this situation. First, because it teaches me humility, second, it teaches forgiveness, third, it makes me stronger. Will we make it? Dunno, I'm 18 months into recovery and I'm much better now than in the beginning, but I still have a long way to go. Oh, BTW, we were in MC for about a year and it did help to talk about it but I think we just talked it all out in C so we told our MC good-bye and we'll call him when we need a tune-up. Look, my H and I get along great. We're actually best friends, but as a H, I can't help but think that he's lowsy at that (we were married only a year when he began to cheat). Of course, I don't give him any of these little thoughts, wouldn't do anything but hurt and frankly, both of us have hurt enough. I just grow very weiry of battling with myself. I want to stay, I want to leave, it's tiresome.
