hey Gwyn, up until recently I was struggling with thoughts of my H and OP, you know what did it for me? I read Hopefloats and Always' posts about how their Hs just couldn't go past the blame and guilt and were heading into D. I saw my own H and realize that it took a lot from him to come back, to put that failure behind him, how it was a huge struggle to realized he'd messed up, he now wants to start over again. Go find their posts (I think Hope's is called 'que sera sera' in MLC), it was liberating for me, I no longer dwell on the OP, sure now and then I think about OP but I've totally detached, it's like "what'll ill have for dinner tonight" it's a passing thought. The monkey is totally off my back, we are very lucky our H's are w/us, we could planning a D right now but we arent. Nights are always hard, that's why they always say to never make any big desicions at night. Since we LBS weren't really able before to let out all our anger and hurt to our H's maybe some of that is coming out now, let it out here hun, we all mess up from time to time)))))))))))
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
