Yikes, today is one of those down days. I am dreaming a lot lately and I'm not getting much sleep so I guess that's why my mood is not so great. Another reason is that I was talking to my H this morning, trying to be upbeat and said you know, I'm look forward to growing old(er) with you, how about you? His reply was don't know. I asked why would you say that? His reply, it isn't up to me. I have no right to expect anything from you. I know that he's having a lot of trouble staying with me. Not because he doesn't love me, etc. but because he knows that he is solely responsible for my pain, or on the flip side, and here is where the "battlefield of the mind" comes in, maybe he just waits for me to pull the plug so we could separate with very little character damage. Okay, as I type this, that's ridiculous! All our friends, family and church knows what he did, yet he is still with me so the damage to his character has already been done. Okay, I'm cheering myself up. But I could use words of encouragement from you guys.
It's a hard road and everyday is a new turn, we just have to have the courage to take the turn and see where it leads!
