I believe unforgiveness, like love, is a choice, not a feeling. Feelings come and go, choices help to keep your feet planted. I have this Bible verse on my bulletin board at work and I refer to it during the day. "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice; be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" Ephesians 4:31-32. Hard, oh yeah! Do I "FEEL" like I should forgive him, no. But I must! Otherwise, I will fertilize the "unforgiveness" seed that has been planted and it will grow and grow until it becomes a full grown "bitterness" plant. I could go on and on about this and it is my testimony and if you want more information about this, I'll be glad to share it but I did want to answer your question.
My decision to work things out with my H is harder than cutting and running. I think I would heal a lot faster if he wasn't in my face everyday, but you know what? No one is guaranteed an "easy" life. I would not want to choose this life, but it is what it is. I now have a "choice". I can either live with my H or I can leave my H. Either way, I know that I will be blessed, but right now, I believe that God has me where he wants me. If he has another plan for me, then in his time, he will reveal this to me. I have to have faith!
Now to answer your question more directly, love is not a feeling! To love someone is a choice. I also believe forgiveness is a choice. I have to wake up every morning and go to bed every night choosing to "forgive". As I do this, it helps me to walk the walk and talk the talk. It, by far, is the hardest thing I have every done, but I'm determined. Whether or not my M survises, don't know, but either way, I will be okay and to forgive will help me in other relationships. As it was, I would have never given my heart to anyone, but with forgiveness, I know that I would be able to.
Anyway, I hope I've answered your question. I'll be checking in.
