Remembering that the OW is poison, if we bring up the topic we're shooting our own feet.
I think about the wisest and hardest thing to do would be to "act as if". If he slips, he has to be accountable for it in the mirror. If we slip (talk about the poison), we're justifying boundary slippage.
Remember, I'm only 6 months into this DB stuff and am still winging it w regard to OW.
My H has privately confessed his sins and is sorry for the pain he's caused. At this time he doesn't feel any remorse or regret about the A. In our sit, cause he didn't chose to leave her, this is about right. I guess the remorse will come about the time that his A recovery period is ending (maybe June???).
At this point, my brain is tired of 'thinking'about her and I would like to put her into my past where she belongs.
Which brings up the matter of trust. I can forgive her. I don't have to trust her.
The sages here tell us time + patience. I'd like to add duct tape, lots of duct tape .
