This is the short version of my story. H left me over 9 months ago without explanation. This made for lots of anger and frustration for a long time. I finally used the DB methods and did a 360 and figured he would probably never be back. I bought a house, moved myself and two sons and started to let go of a 24 year plus marriage. Two weeks ago, H called to make arrangments to come clean out his stuff from old house. VM said he wanted to be the man he knew he could be and come clean as to the reasons for leaving me. Told him to send in writing, did not want confrontation. writing admitted infidelity. Once over eight years ago for several months, once with a co-worker for 2 occasions and the last took him two more days to tell me. He had actually been living in the same city as kids and I with OW (also co-worker) and her son as a family. In my heart I think I knew but the reality of it all is very hard. Now H says the last couple of letters I had sent him combined with seeing all of our things boxed up, throw out, etc, has finally cleared his head. He admits the affair (s) occurred because he was lonely and felt I was no longer interested. (I have been working a lot of hours to bring in extra income so he could "Play" I thought that was what he wanted) I guess neither of us was very good in the communication area. He has left OW. He feels alot of guilt for leaving her because he says he now understands what it is he has done. He told her he loved her and now understands it was the attention he loved, not her. Says he feels bad for her because she is all alone (no one new of the affair that they no of) and she cannot talk to anyone for fear of being ridiculed for being with a married man. I really want to work things out with H, however I have issues. How long are the guilty feelings for her going to last? He is trying to transfer to another location for his job so he doesnt see her everyday. How do I get over feeling so inadequate? She was thin, I am not. He says she is pretty and has not told me that in years. She catered to him made him feel he was the center for her world, I need to have my own world that he is included in, but not necessarily the only thing in it. I want to have hope, I want to trust and believe we can do this. I want to let go of the anger and sadness so we can build a better life but I am scared. I am scared he came home out of guilt. He finally saw what he had done to two women and I won because of longevity. Any suggestions? I am really interested in hearing from those of you who may have been in his position to let me know what you think. Thanks guys!!!!
