I had a nice weekend. I went out with a friend last night and had a good time. I don’t know if I would call it a date but my W today asked how my “date” was last night. I told her I had fun and was out with a friend. She said I didn’t check your thread, but “I know you were out on a date last night”. She said “I’m not mad about it”. What do you make of this?
Spent time with the kids and my W today at church and then at a church Easter Egg hunt. It was nice. I have been taking care of myself and kids and taking each day as they come.
Here is my update. My W and I talked yesterday and she told me she is seeing the OM again, but told me she does NOT want to spend the rest of her life with him. She said she is not sure if she wants to spend the rest of her life with me but is growing more “fond of me”. I told her I have been being myself and she said that I seem more relaxed. She said she wasn’t sure if she could love like the C talked about – meaning mature love and not the fantasy of love. Truly knowing and loving someone with all of their faults.
She said she wanted to move back in at the end of the month and I told her that I didn’t want her moving back in if she was still seeing the OM. I know I might go against DBing but this is how I feel. I told her that it isn’t fair to her, me or the kids. She said that she is motivated to end it for good with the OM and hopes that her moving back in gives a clear signal to him that it is over. She then said that legally I couldn’t keep her form moving back in and I said that she was right. I told her that if I didn’t like it I guess could file for separation and custody of the kids. I told her that was not my intent, but that I was telling her form my heart how I felt. We didn’t get into a fight over it, we both just expressed our opinions. This was me not avoiding the conflict. Maybe not good Dbing but I had to stand my ground.
Tonight she told me that she was ending her lease at the end of the month and moving back in. I said Ok and I didn’t ask about what it meant or what was happening with her and the OM. It seems she will end it for good but needs to do it on her own schedule.
So for now I will continue to take care of myself and my kids. I will do the fun thing I have been doing and give her space. The hardest part is that I get not affection at all from her. No hugs, kisses, etc. Patience seems to be the key. I guess I view her moving home as a baby step. We have a long way to go, but she is “growing more fond of me”. She is not ready to work on the M yet as far as i can tell.
