Thnaks JJ - I have been leaning towards her moving back in cuz i think it would be good for us both, but i do have concerns which i will work through.
Here is an update: My W and I are spending a good bit of time together and I guess that is a good sign. It may be one of the “rebound” things she mentioned might happen, but I view it as baby steps. Last night she asked if I wanted to watch a movie she rented after the kids went to bed. I said yes. She asked if I minded if she spent the night since it would be late when the movie was over. I said I thought that it would be OK. She also asked if I would like to go out for dinner tonight before we go out or for breakfast in the morning on Sat. I told her I would like to go for breakfast – more relaxing. This should give us a chance to talk about her possibly moving back in and not effect our evening out.
She has been very appreciative of everything I do around the house and has made some nice gestures to do nice things for me. It is almost like she is nesting – trying to get the house ready for her to come back home.
This morning she woke up with “the mother of all headaches”. I got the oldest off to school and then took the youngest to school – I didn’t ask her if she wanted me to, I just did it. The old me would have asked if she wanted me to and this would have made her feel guilty so I’m improving. I hope her headache goes away so we can have fun tonight.
Regarding the discussion on the possible move back home. I know I CAN”T avoid the possible conflict that may come up in this discussion. Her feelings of what it means and mine may be different and we can talk about those. Her feelings are her feeling and I will listen, but I need to share my feelings and expectations also.
Finally, I know that for the next few weeks she will continue to experience the withdrawal from the A and I will need to continue to be patient with her. Her feelings for me will not be able to change until after she is over the A and can forgive herself. One issue I continue to struggle with is that I feel nervous around her and worried that I will say or do something to F things up. I know I need to just be myself and if she falls in love with me that will be wonderful, but if she doesn’t I will be fine. I am a wonderful loving person, father and husband and if she can not realize this than it will be her lose.
