Last year I didn't go to the appt due to thyroid sit. H mentioned that I'd been dx. CPA's wife is also hypo and he had two messages for us. Mine was to take care of my health. H's was to not even think about D. I thought that was such a wierd bit of advice at the time. Not 5 months later that was exactly what happened.
The tax man told H that 2002 we would problably have to pay; first year ever that we wouldn't rec a return. He said to dump money into the day care and to save save save receipts. I've saved everything but nothing was done for the day care except playground maintenance. The house/yard are neglected.
Sometime in the recent past I brought up the subject of H's plan to walk away. He told me he was planning to leave during the spring, 02. I can see it. We'd get the tax bill and H would have used that as the reason for his exit.
Do ya'll think I should open a conversation about this appt on the 8th? Should I ask H BEFOREHAND what he feels we should do if we get hit? Should I leave the mention of his plan to exit in the past?
I am hearing good things fr H. When I asked him a question about our money gifts to our church he said, "WE tithe". Someone mentioned a meeting on a Wed evening (C Sessions and Church take priority on Wed) he told them "WE are at church. He is consciously including me. When I thanked him for taking me to the dinner meeting on Monday, he asked, "well why wouldn't I take you. . .oh. . ."
Of course Son wants the car constantly. He offered to fetch gingerale for me yesterday as I was still having a headache and I told him no. While he was a new solo driver I wanted him to defer to dad re his driving times. I told H about it and he said I was right to tell him no yesterday because son is sick and needed to sleep. He feels I shouldn't defer the permission for driving to him though. I can't help but remember our D starting her driving phase and the contention that we had about that. I've said a couple of times that I wanted to make sure that we were in agreement about S and the driving and H agreed.
I was really ill yesterday w headache. H wanted to know why I didn't call him. I took a hit when he said he hadn't cared that I was scared I was dying so I tend to be protective of myself when I don't feel good. I told him that if it had escalated past the headache, chills, and barfing, I would have called. I excused myself fr cooking supper and asked H to make a bank run for me (this was a first since the bomb). He came back w gingerale, crackers, and an icepack! He asked if I wanted to go to church but I told him I just wanted to sleep. He called me at some point and was home before I knew it.
Tonight he is coaching the speech contestant at her parent's home. The O club pres is going w him. He asked me if I wanted to go but I told him I thought I'd stay home and bake. I'm trying.
People talk about rebonding. That's happening. I feel so changed though. I guess that's part of the process. I wonder how 'changed' my H feels?
Someone posted somewhere that the less guilty the spouse feels, the more s/he is able to settle back into the R. At first they tend to just feel obligated.
I know H wants me to keep us financially stable and that he wants my backing re the kids. There's gotta be more. . .in time we'll share.
